on my knees
eyes wide open
looking into yours
which see nothing
my eyes speak
“i love you”
“calm down”
my eyes fall
on deaf ears
it strikes again
whatever it is
you scream
thrash
strike
bite
yourself
every part
of your being
becomes tense
love is now force
three bodies intervening
mine also interceding
as it strikes
we bind
it halts
we wait
it strikes
we bind
it halts
we wait
it lasts one hour
strikes every five minutes
each time a new bruise
on you or on us
each time drops of blood
either yours or ours
my eyes scream
“STOP!”
but my eyes fall
who let hell
into our heaven?
Not ten minutes after the hour,
you are smiling as if nothing happened.
We are relieved and grateful,
but we cannot smile with you.
To understand is a luxury
our bodies cannot afford.
We are exhausted
from our efforts
to restrict darkness,
and I am consumed
by a sorrowful fear:
no matter how
much light I see,
such overwhelming darkness
will eventually return
and always smother
Hazem suffered these hour-long spells on four consecutive days. I was present for two of them. Apparently, he has experienced similar spells in years past. An erratic consequence of a traumatic childhood? Bodily illness manifested in emotional, psychological torment? No one really knows. He is fine now, and he has been for nearly a week. We assume that it’s over. Even so, please pray.
Praying - and crying...
ReplyDeleteWilly, I just read this to my class. Here are some of the responses of my students:
ReplyDelete"We'll understand it better by and by, like the song says."
"I wish you could see your mom's eyes; she is so proud. And we are proud of you too, and we are praying for you."
"Continue the good work. People really need it."
Tears are flowing here at Four Rivers....