Easter

spring song

by Lucille Clifton

the green of Jesus

is breaking the ground

and the sweet

smell of delicious Jesus

is opening the house and

the dance of Jesus music

has hold of the air and

the world is turning

in the body of Jesus and

the future is possible

A Better View

I haven’t posted many pictures of the institute itself. In an effort to remedy that...

Our small, beautiful chapel.

Our cafeteria. Hectic, yet quiet. We begin and end each meal with an established prayer in Sign language. 

The living room of the boys’ boarding house (i.e., the only room besides the bedrooms).

There are five bunk-beds in each of the four bedrooms. I am increasingly convinced that if I were raised at this school, I would have gone clinically insane due to lack of personal space. Fortunately, Jameel and Hamzeh (two of my favorites) make the most of their unenviable living situation. 

The pastime of preference for most boys here!

This playground area is in the middle of the institute’s campus. 

Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Reverend Canon Brother Andrew de Carpentier, an Anglican monk from Holland with degrees in theology, special education, and architecture. In addition to his native language, he speaks English (flawlessly), German, French, Arabic, and Jordanian Sign language. I have never known anyone so intimidating and yet so gentle. 

...I have no idea what’s so funny, by the way. 

Three of the four other young international volunteers. From left to right: Rafael (22-year-old Swiss), Lena (19-year-old German), and Tamara (25-year-old Swiss). These three people are very precious to me. Rafael especially took me under his wing in those first few months and has become a dear friend.  

All of our schedules are full and rather inflexible, so get-togethers are unfortunately rare, making the occasional meal at our favorite shwarma restaurant all the more special. 

Hope you like the view!

Two poems to be reconciled

How Does He Feel

When survivors 

create victims;

When exiles 

come home 

with guns;

When children of the covenant

are drunk on fear

of insecurity, seemingly

justifying every abuse;

When Abraham’s offspring

become like stones,

scorning prophets

by scorning strangers,

who are in fact their siblings;

When His bride

lies in an abuser’s bed

and calls it biblical?

(Romans 9:1-2, 10:1-2)

Bus #961, Beit She’an to Jerusalem

A young woman speaks

in the language I know

of a language I don’t.

A language of people

whose mere mention evokes

a thousand stories of oppression.

Her people.

Her oppression?

The young woman shares

with the loved one she has called

how it feels to come home

for the first time

and to pray

in, not just towards

the holy city

that we approach together.

This young woman struggles
to transcend adequacy

and become eloquent

in her other language.

She is anxious

to belong,

to prove that she belongs.

Where does anyone belong?

This guilty yet innocent, 

unattractive yet beautiful 

young woman shows me

the way towards my destination. 

And as our ways part,

I begin to wonder:

“How different are they?

Are we?

Are they?”

"I don't support the Palestinians...

...but I do support good fashion!” 

A weekday lunch in the Wheaton College cafeteria, a few weeks after returning from my Spring Break trip to Palestine and Israel. I am wearing my kafia, a black-and-white checkered scarf that is emblematic of Palestinian identity. This style of scarf has become quite popular in recent years, though only the black-and-white checkered pattern maintains the ethnic connotation. As I walk to my table, a fellow student stops me and says, “Excuse me, where did you buy your kafia?” I smile and reply, “Hebron” -- not a store, but an ancient city in Palestine.  

“Oh, okay. Well, I don’t support the Palestinians, but I do support good fashion!”

“The Palestinians” are a people group. This student claimed not to “support” certain people. He didn’t say “I don’t support Palestinian statehood” (a cause) or “I don’t support radical Islam” (an ideology) or “I don’t support ending Israeli settlement expansions” (a policy). He wasn’t talking about causes, ideologies, or policies. He was talking about people.  

To support is to be for someone or something. The word signifies love, and love signifies support. 

Because God loves the world, because Jesus tells his followers to love even their enemies, Christians are called to support all people. Causes, policies, and ideologies are a different matter. Of course, Christians can have legitimate disagreements about being for or against one thing or another. But when it comes to human beings, there is no question: Christians support, Christians love. They are truly, fiercely pro-life.

...And the student who commented on my kafia would almost certainly agree! 

If he were to read what I just wrote, he would probably affirm his support/love for the Palestinians as people and then attempt to explain his comment: “That’s not really what I meant. I meant that I don’t support....” Who knows? Maybe Palestinian statehood, or radical Islam, or ending Israeli settlement expansions. Whatever he would say, it could probably be classified as a cause, a policy, an ideology, or any combination of the three. 

The problem here is not that this student supports one thing and I support another. 

The problem is that, through his choice of words, he equated people with a cause/policy/ideology. 

Recently, a friend posted a quote from the poet Daniel Ladinsky (who is rendering the words of 14th century Iranian poet Hafiz): “What we speak becomes the house we live in.” The words that we choose both illuminate our existing perceptions and influence our future perceptions. 

In the house that is this student’s mind, then, it seems that “the Palestinians” have ceased to be people and have effectively become a mere cause/policy/ideology. 

Such associations are not merely erroneous; they are also quite dangerous. Often, they give birth to sin. 

A man doesn’t support liberal immigration reforms, and he subconsciously equates certain people with this cause. The result? “I don’t support the Mexicans.” Even if he never says it, might he feel an inkling of disdain when he interacts with someone who looks like a Mexican? And might his mis-association encourage this disdain?

A woman doesn’t support governmental recognition of civil unions, and she subconsciously equates certain people with this policy. The result? “I don’t support gay people.” Even if she never says it (though she probably does), might she avoid confronting the issues of gay bullying and gay suicides? And might her mis-association perpetuate this avoidance?

Sisters and brothers, in an effort to support and love all people well, let us reject the identification of human beings with causes, policies, and ideologies.

And furthermore, let us be wary of any cause, policy, or ideology that would hinder or dissuade us from supporting and loving all people well.

For example, let us be wary of an ideology that would see (even more) Palestinians kicked out of their homes to make (even more) room for Jews; 

that would deliberately ignore Palestinian sisters and brothers in Christ; 

that would justify the injustices of imprisonments without trial, land seizures, home demolitions, economic strangulation, checkpoints, walls; 

that wouldn’t give a second thought to the statement, “I don’t support the Palestinians.” 

That Morn Shall Tearless Be

Click

Around five years ago, the community theater in my hometown presented The Miracle Worker, which tells the story of Helen Keller’s childhood. I don’t remember all that much about the play, but its climactic moment is engrained in my mind and heart. 

It’s the moment for which Helen’s teacher has anxiously waited, towards which she has tirelessly worked; the moment when Helen understands that water -- the reality that she tastes, feels, knows -- is being rendered into her teacher’s hands; the moment when Helen finally realizes that her own hands have the power to translate realities into symbols. 

We just can’t comprehend the magnitude of this realization, of the moment when communication finally clicks. It’s an inscrutable revelation that enables everyday magic. 

Hazem’s revelatory moment has not yet arrived. 

This is one of several dozen Velcro cards that can be placed into Hazem’s daily schedule. Each card has an accompanying sign, most of which he can perform from memory. 

Everyday, at 3:30 PM, Hazem runs his fingers over this card, then independently performs the sign for “drink” (a thumb’s-up tapping his lips several times). Afterwards, without any further prompt, he walks to his seat at the table and sits down, expecting to be served a snack. 

Sounds great, right? But it’s not the whole story. 

Although it appears that Hazem has successfully associated the card/sign for “drink” with having a snack, I do not think that such associations yet exist for many of his cards/signs. After feeling, for example, his pottery card, Hazem usually performs the correct sign for “pottery,” but then he might just stand still or walk in the wrong direction, because he doesn’t necessarily understand that the card/sign means he’s about to play with clay. So, even when there is a mental connection between cards in his schedule and their corresponding signs, there may or may not be a mental connection between the signs and the realities that they signify -- which is, of course, the more important connection.

And here’s where it gets scary: apart from using his schedule, and apart from being prompted by someone else, I have never seen Hazem perform an actual sign. 

He gets thirsty, but he never signs “drink.” 

His diaper fills up, and he feels uncomfortable, but he never signs “bathroom.”

He has a favorite music-playing toy, but one day last week he couldn’t use it, because another deafblind child already was, and Hazem never signed “music” or “don’t want” or “finished” but just fidgeted then cried then emotionally erupted like he did when he was sick and my legs started shaking from anxiety and dread. 

That time, thank God, it ended in less than ten minutes. 

All this goes to say: we’re still waiting for the click. Hazem copies, Hazem memorizes. But Hazem does not communicate. 

This is probably related to his utter dependency. For most of Hazem’s life, everything has been done for him -- and if it hasn’t been done for him, he has been told what to do.

It makes me wonder if he is more or less incapable of independent choice at this point in his life. 

A fellow volunteer in the deafblind unit recently said, “Hazem very well might die from hunger with a full plate of food in front of him if no one ever tapped his arm, telling him to take the next bite.” 

Is an individual’s self-recognition (and perhaps self-assertion) the foundational impetus for communication? Are we still waiting for the click because Hazem doesn’t truly apprehend his individuality, because he doesn’t conceive of his self as independent of the people around him? 

These questions, these predicaments are shrouded in mystery. Hazem’s communicative, emotional, psychological darknesses are largely impenetrable. 

God alone comprehends. 

A Glimpse of the Syrian Refugee Crisis

On Saturday, Daryl Byler (one of my MCC bosses) visited the Za’atari Refugee Camp near Mafraq, Jordan -- about six miles away from the Syrian border.

More than 100,000 Syrian refugees now live in this camp, and as many as 4,000 new refugees are received each night. The influx is taxing Za’atari’s infrastructure, as well as its NGO workers.

The number of Syrian refugees in Jordan now exceeds 400,000. This is a small country, and resources are already scarce. The consequence is immense stress on local resources.  

In response to the two-year-old conflict in Syria (which has killed more than 70,000 Syrians), MCC has provided over $1 million in humanitarian aid -- food, blankets, clothing, milk, diapers, school kits, basic medical supplies. In addition to supporting the distribution of resources, MCC is investing in trauma assistance and peace-building training. Alongside the Lutheran World Federation, MCC is currently designing a program that offers strategies and tools for humanitarian workers who are increasingly stressed by the crisis.

If you want to follow MCC Jordan’s work, you can check out the blog of the country’s representatives: http://cindydarylbyler.wordpress.com/

Grace and Peace.